This Married Life - Some Secrets Aren't Meant for Sundays

For all of those who think that I'm the only one obsessed with the glorious wedding announcements (though I'm guessing if you're reading this blog, you probably are right with me on that one) and their role in society, check out this week's This American Life, the show adored by newshounds and public radio hipsters alike (and hipster-newshounds).

This week's episode frames its discussion of infidelity with the dissection of the Vows Column that many readers found so appalling a few weeks back (and that I blogged about with a little bit too much gusto). The episode brings out some big questions about the nature of wedding announcements. What makes the New York Times wedding announcements so appealing to a lot of readers, are its one-sided, happy-ending filled narratives. Anyone who is or has been in a relationship knows that true fairy tales don't exist (though I did manage to make it into my carriage before it turned into a pumpkin this Halloween) and often the Times does a great job of turning normal relationships into fairy tales whose trouble-free happy endings stand by virtue of the simple fact that we won't see what happens to couples after they say their vows, and the Times runs its "Vows." And even more so, the Times gives us only a cursory overview of how they got to the altar, glossing over infidelities or hinting at difficult points in the relationship that the couple seem destined to overcome. In the cases of infidelity, there's no input from the scorned partner or even an overt mention of the affair, as the contributor to This American Life says, in the narrative that ends in the altar, it's only a speed bump in the couple's journey. The show then goes on to ponder why those who don't have to profess their infidelity to the world, unlike exposed Governors or presidential candidates, choose to do so, especially when they include a cheating wife who stole away to Paris to be with a member of Il Divo.

Personally, I think it's best to keep it all inside. While I'm always curious for more details about the lives of those featured on these hallowed pages - in fact I think it's the teaser into the often imponderable lives of others that keeps me coming back - I believe that there's a time and a place for everything. As the This American Life segment went onto explore, the chances that a relationship between the cheaters will last is indeed slim. Is this, marriage makers who got to the altar after cheating on a significant other, how you want to be remembered by people like me, as the one downer in an otherwise glowing Sunday? I think not. However, some parts of interwoven narratives are impossible to extract from one another and, as a believer that the truth is always better than lies, if this is what the relationship is, perhaps it's best to own it.

My question then becomes: when do moral issues start to affect what announcements are featured on the pages? Is there even a place for that sort of thing? Say, if Elliot Spitzer married his prostitute, would that be a Vows column? Who gets a say in that? Should we care? I say, do what you want New York Times, because I'll always be back for more. As for the cheaters, well, I learned in kindergarten that those never prosper but if you've made yours prosperous than who am I to stand in the way, judging you as you make my Sunday glee a little less gleeful.