Evidence for changed expectations and perspectives abounds in these announcements (one of the things that keeps me coming back). Today's Vows column chronicles the seemingly unlikely story of Jessica Valenti and Andrew Golis. She's a feminist author and blogger, he helps run Talking Points Memo. They fall in love. And apparently that's all you really need for a real, interesting, and heartfelt romance. Now, that's the way to end a Sunday.
P.S. I love what she has to say about feminism. Especially as a fan of "high heels, formulaic crime dramas, vampire books and the occasional reality show." If by vampire books you mean Harry Potter and by occasional, you mean every night. Except when I'm watching Cold Case.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Video killed the wedding announcement?
One of my favorite portions of the glorious time suck that is the New York Times Weddings & Celebrations page is the video that comes with it. Usually, it is a "Vows" video telling the story of a (yawn) couple who met at a gym, but the ones I like best are the State of the Union videos that revisit couples featured in previous Vows columns (you know, the big headliners who get a half page in the print version of the Times). Last week's was a particularly unique State of the Union video chronicling a couple who married, had two kids, and "changed and grew" to the point where she decided she needed to date a woman. Yeah, you read that right. Props to the NYTimes for chronicling a nontraditional happy ending and giving us a State of the Union that shows that sometimes a marriage made in the NYTimes doesn't last. In all my years of reading these, this is the first State of the Union I've seen that's touched on this once upon a time unspeakable concept, and, despite its bittersweet taste, I found it refreshing - especially when compared to the recent vows column that seemingly glorified the infidelity of the woman who married a member of Il Divo.
These two provide great examples of different ways the unraveling of a marriage has been treated in the Times. An infidelity that led to marriage to a pop opera star was described as an operatic opus, while the story of a couple who married despite what turned out to be unchangeable differences seems touching and deeply human. Infidelity, to my taste, should never be glorified but my question here is this: would I feel differently about the opera if it was a video instead? And would the bittersweet story turn bitter if it were words on the page instead of the faces of the two people who ended up apart?
For those interested, here's a link I dug up of the Walsh/Gaugy pre-split announcement: http://www.nytimes.com/2000/05/21/style/weddings-vows-candace-walsh-and-peter-gaugy.html
These two provide great examples of different ways the unraveling of a marriage has been treated in the Times. An infidelity that led to marriage to a pop opera star was described as an operatic opus, while the story of a couple who married despite what turned out to be unchangeable differences seems touching and deeply human. Infidelity, to my taste, should never be glorified but my question here is this: would I feel differently about the opera if it was a video instead? And would the bittersweet story turn bitter if it were words on the page instead of the faces of the two people who ended up apart?
For those interested, here's a link I dug up of the Walsh/Gaugy pre-split announcement: http://www.nytimes.com/2000/05/21/style/weddings-vows-candace-walsh-and-peter-gaugy.html
I love this shit: or why I decided to stop twittering and start a blog
For me, the New York Times wedding announcements have long been a Sunday tradition. When I was in high school, my mother, bless her, made a it a weekly ritual to bring back bagels and the New York Times. In middle school, I yanked out the Parade Magazine and the Comic Strip from the Albany paper. In high school, I went straight for the Styles. It was a marriage that would last.
In high school, the wedding announcements were like romantic comedies but with real people - and they provided a weekly exhibit of the happy endings that a dreamy teenager craved. As I neared the end of college, and my mother's loving packages that included hard copies of the Sunday Styles, I perused them for career options, figuring if these people made it in the New York Times wedding announcements, they must be doing quite well for themselves. And when I was feeling cynical, they were social commentary or, quite simply, an information source. But through it all, and the tragedies and triumphs of adult life, they have served as a Sunday pick me up - even when I'm now old enough to know that while there is reliability in the happiness on the pages of the New York Times every week, real life happy endings are bit trickier.
The point is: the wedding announcements aren't just about love, they are about social class in America, about the recession, about old and new society, about the future of relationships, and about the future of this country. But at their best, and most pure, they are about two people, well-connected though they may be, who decided to make a go of it in an imperfect world where happiness takes work, but is worth it every time.
And I think there's a place for all of that in our Sunday reading. I'm starting this blog because I can't stop posting links to announcements or sending them to friends. But the point here is to show you some of what's great, fascinating, thought-provoking, and downright rude about the wedding announcements (ok, so I know wedding season is pretty much over, but so is my summer, and I'm looking ahead to a winter indoors). I know I'm not alone in my fascination with this weekly ray of hope in the gloomy weekend's end, so I'm hoping that I'll post some of the best, interesting, and, sometimes, annoying announcements of each week to make your Sunday dread a little less dreadful.
My first Sunday attempt begins tonight.
In high school, the wedding announcements were like romantic comedies but with real people - and they provided a weekly exhibit of the happy endings that a dreamy teenager craved. As I neared the end of college, and my mother's loving packages that included hard copies of the Sunday Styles, I perused them for career options, figuring if these people made it in the New York Times wedding announcements, they must be doing quite well for themselves. And when I was feeling cynical, they were social commentary or, quite simply, an information source. But through it all, and the tragedies and triumphs of adult life, they have served as a Sunday pick me up - even when I'm now old enough to know that while there is reliability in the happiness on the pages of the New York Times every week, real life happy endings are bit trickier.
The point is: the wedding announcements aren't just about love, they are about social class in America, about the recession, about old and new society, about the future of relationships, and about the future of this country. But at their best, and most pure, they are about two people, well-connected though they may be, who decided to make a go of it in an imperfect world where happiness takes work, but is worth it every time.
And I think there's a place for all of that in our Sunday reading. I'm starting this blog because I can't stop posting links to announcements or sending them to friends. But the point here is to show you some of what's great, fascinating, thought-provoking, and downright rude about the wedding announcements (ok, so I know wedding season is pretty much over, but so is my summer, and I'm looking ahead to a winter indoors). I know I'm not alone in my fascination with this weekly ray of hope in the gloomy weekend's end, so I'm hoping that I'll post some of the best, interesting, and, sometimes, annoying announcements of each week to make your Sunday dread a little less dreadful.
My first Sunday attempt begins tonight.
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